"The Best Goodbye" is a book written by an American doctor about how to face aging and death, primarily from the perspectives of doctors, patients, and patients' families, discussing how to make choices in the face of inevitable aging and death, with limited medical capabilities.
Current medical capabilities can only delay aging and postpone death, but often at a tremendous cost. Treatments such as surgeries and medications not only require substantial financial resources but also subject patients to physical and mental suffering and side effects. Additionally, patients' families must invest significant time and energy to support the treatment. Sometimes this cost is worth it. However, especially when patients are older or when effective treatments for their diseases are lacking, whether it is worth incurring such a high cost needs to be discussed and contemplated together.
As people age, bodily functions gradually weaken, and life choices become increasingly limited. Some activities can no longer be participated in, and gradually, normal life becomes unsustainable, leading to a shrinking living space. Most people's options for elderly care are limited to nursing homes, living alone at home, or living with family. The main issue with most nursing homes is not the poor environmental facilities, but the lack of freedom and choice, resembling a prison, which is why elderly people are generally reluctant to go to nursing homes. Living with family or alone at home presents various challenges related to caregiving and daily living difficulties. The United States is experimenting with some elder care communities that provide necessary medical assistance and care while preserving the freedom of the elderly. China's aging population is already quite evident, but investment in elderly care is significantly lacking, with only a few wealthy individuals having the opportunity to enjoy dignified aging.
When faced with diseases that are untreatable or carry high treatment risks, the opinions of doctors, patients, and patients' families are likely to be inconsistent. Often, doctors or patients' families dominate the conversation, employing various means to pursue treatment at any cost, while patients' opinions are frequently overlooked, leading to immense suffering during the treatment process. This situation actually requires thorough communication among doctors, patients, and patients' families to understand the patients' top priorities, granting patients true choices and allowing them to live with dignity until the end, rather than dying in pain.
This topic is indeed very heavy and most people are unwilling to face it. Regardless, everyone will eventually confront aging and death. Engaging in communication and reflection in advance, understanding what truly matters to oneself, can lead to better choices; every choice you make constitutes your true life.